Man tells other dads to stop asking their wives one ‘frustrating’ question and to do this instead
Many dads out there have the best of intentions when it comes to supporting their wives. However, those intentions can get easily turned askew with a single question:
“Is there anything I can do?”
Most likely any mom or default parent reading this sentence is instantly triggered by a time when they were asked this less-than-helpful question, which actually does little to take any load off.
And any dad or secondary parent has equally unsavory memories of asking this question and being met with a look of disdain from their partner. So fun.
One dad (@dadwise.co) has some advice: stop asking that question.
Instead, he suggests dads should “look around the house, analyze the situation, and then just tackle the first thing that seems to be interfering with the peace of the household.” For him, it’s usually tending to their toddler.
He adds that stopping your wife from what she’s doing and forcing her to delegate tasks just adds more responsibility for her. Really, the actual solution is much simpler.
“Just look around. See what needs to be done.”
Goodness. What glorious words.
@dadwise.co Dads stop doimg this. Take initiative and ownership over your household and SEE what needs to be done instead of asking #fatherhood #dadlife #extremeownership #parenting ♬ original sound – dadwise.co
“If there’s dishes in the sink, do the dishes. If the kids are being crazy, take them outside and run them around. If the floor needs to be swept, sweep the floor. If the dinner needs to be made, make the dinner,” is his take.
He concluded by saying “Look around. Use your eyes. Look alive, dads. Participate. As best you know how, to the best of your abilities.”
Having to take on invisible labor—both mentally and emotionally—without support is a source of frustration for many women, and it only becomes more exhausting as they also have to juggle actual jobs and other outside responsibilities. More and more wives have grown so exasperated that they’re either publicly calling out their partners, or even going so far as divorcing them.
So, unsurprisingly, @dadwise.co’s video received a LOT of comments from women who felt so seen…if not a little angry.
“Keep telling him many times but ‘he’s a man we don’t think the same’ YOU’RE 30. YOU HAD YOUR OWN HOUSE BEFORE WE MET,” one person wrote.
Another lamented, “My husband doesn’t even ask if I need help. Just watches me suffer while I do EVERYTHING. It’s so draining 😭”
Other women noted how surprisingly groundbreaking his point of view actually was.
“This would take care of every argument we’ve had,” one person wrote
“This thinking will literally save your marriage,” seconded another
Hopefully, this video is also showing up on more than just worn-out women’s FYPs on TikTok. It’s a very doable mindset shift that could clearly pay dividends.
And @dadwise.co is clearly not the only husband who thinks this way. The fact that more and more men out there are noticing how to make partnerships more equitable is definitely worth celebrating.
If you’d like to follow along on more of @dadwise.co’s tips, click here.
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